In my mind's eye, I can see how I would like my life to be. I don't mean where I will live, or anything materialistic. I mean how I will feel inside. Finally replacing all of my anger and fear with love and kindness, suspicion of my fellow man with trust. Not feeling socially retarded, but just peacefully appropriate. To feel comfortable with others, and to have them be comfortable with me. There are people who know my heart, and they overlook all of the "warts" in my personality, (thankfully). Good intentions, yes, they are there! But somehow, in the excitement to move forward, I race and trample anything in my path. Words are coming out of my mouth, and as they are being uttered, I wish to stop them. But cannot. And as thankful as I am for the true love of family and friends, I am the first one to mutter when my husband doesn't hear me...again.
Lord, I know you are with me. I know that you love me. Please help me to be kind. A blessing to others. A good Christian example. An instrument of your peace. My human insecurities turn into anger. A constant battle. Let love flow from me. Thankfulness. Peace. You have this under your care and control. Let me be the cork, accepting each swell, knowing I will rise to reach the surface. In calm waters or through storms you guide me, dear Father.
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